The Influence of Support:
We all need friends, love, family, colleagues. We all need support. We're not meant to go at this life alone. When left to our own devices we may not always be our own best counsel. When it comes to making a choice or decision or moving out of a stuck place and especially when we need to stop manifesting cyclical situations causing unmitigated stress in our lives, having the RIGHT support is key.
(Photo: Care of Chrisy Love- This is her baby.)
Have you ever felt the pure love of a baby shift you out of a negative state? That's the right support in that moment. It's not likely you'll be triggered by something the baby says.
In coaching hundreds of professionals and in being a highly sensitive person myself, I see a need for the Pause. Pause before you reach out for support because no support is better then the wrong support.
Pause & Ask Yourself These 3 Questions:
1. Why am I called to reach out or talk to this person? Is it just because they're available, they always give me time, they love me, they want what's best for me, they know my story?
2. What kind of support do I really need and can this person give it to me? Not everyone is at a level of self-knowledge that they can answer this for themselves. Knowing whether you need support from someone who knows who you are striving to become, versus who you once were or appear to be now through their eyes, is an advanced skill and an important one to hone or you risk being held back by invisible hooks called 'the wrong support.'
3. What is the outcome I want from a conversation with this person? Do you want emotional support? Do you want them to collude with your story to validate how you feel? Do you want them to highlight a blindspot to help you make the right decision? Do you want them to make the decision for you? Do you want them to remind you what your higher self really wants and is in alignment with who you are striving to become? Do you want them to acknowledge you and hold you as powerful while helping you weight the benefits and costs?
We've all been in that place or that twist or bind and meditated, ruminated, or pondered our question, yet still felt the need to bounce it off of someone else. It helps to clarify our thoughts and reflect what we're feeling and helps us see beyond stress, confusion, doubt, worry, fear, or even absolute enthusiasm.
So what do we do? You call a parent- or you call your old friend who is always there for you yet you realize -only by the hallow feeling in your chest- that you made a mistake. When you're on the superhighway of personal evolution it's better to reach out for the RIGHT support than to reach out for any support. Different situations call for different support.
Sometimes you may just need some good lovin. That's not that same thing as a big life decision where you're looking for feedback and solid reflection.
Something quite fierce was recently weighing on me. I chose to be silent and listen from within. For a while this was fine and I was receiving the internal cues I needed to know I was on the right track.
Then a bit of anxiety came over and I needed to diffuse. I could have been calm and quiet and sought from within, I could have thought specifically who would be the RIGHT person to consult with in this very specific situation, or I could have paused long enough to take myself through the very decision making process I teach my clients. (super cool)
I didn't do any of the above. I fell back into an old habit and reacted.
I was stressed, driving, exhausted and it was a long day. I needed love, connection and support now. Do you know this feeling? I called someone who knows the old me- they have a vested interest in my success and happiness, they have their own way of seeing the world and although they've changed a lot over the years, they still may not have the same view of my agenda.
I called anyway.
Result? More anxiety, self doubt and all kinds of unreasonable what ifs.... I was better off not making that call. This person came from 100% good intention yet they were not the RIGHT support.
Remediation? Afterward... I reached out to a colleague who knows my Soul. Knows what takes me out, knows who I really am at the very core of my being and knows my purpose here in this life. She is the RIGHT support. I knew this friend was at a conference and my first thought was 'I won't bother her.'
Instead I decided to ask for what I needed and reached out to my colleague. The point is when we're up against a big decision or next move, sometimes our loved ones or other mentors who know us in a certain way are not the ones to give advice or reflection.
Know Your People
Know your 'Board of Directors' -your friends and trusted advisers who know your Soul, know your deepest desires, and potentially know your logistical situation are your Board. Assign them in advance so you know who to reach out to for what.
Receiving counsel and reflection from someone who can hold you as powerful, hold the vision of you who you truly desire to be, not who you were, and someone who understands your agenda and your Soul's agenda is mandatory if you want to move forward. Anything else keeps you stuck or pulls you back. Resonate?
If you don't have a community or at least one confidant who has your forward movement, your deep inner purpose or your highest potential at heart, hire a coach, an adviser, a consultant, a lawyer, a healer, an astrologist... in other words put together your spiritual and logistical support team and make sure they are as evolved or more evolved than you.
This may sound woo-woo- it's not. It's called 'being heard, being seen, being acknowledged for the true gifts you are here to actualize in this lifetime.' If you're in a place of big decisions and they are going to impact how you align with your purpose and future intent- you need some targeted and intentional counsel.
What does this mean for you? Do you resonate? When was the last time you reached out to the wrong person who just couldn't validate your feelings and give you the type of honest and powerful reflection you needed?
Sometimes we realize in -retrospect- we're feeling out of alignment with our circle of friends, the people who used to be on the same page, or the community we're surrounded by. Maybe you're personal evolution is happening more quickly than you realized. Who do you speak to now?
Book a session on my calendar right here $149. Yes, let's get to know each other and let's talk about who your counsel needs to be. We're not meant to do this all alone. What's the next step for you on your path to personal and professional evolution?
What's got you feeling stuck and who do you have to mastermind with about it?
I'm very serious about the importance of having the RIGHT support- sometimes this is the ONE thing that keeps us stuck and no one ever told you that the key is having the RIGHT support- someone who gets you, knows you, 'sees' your true self and can feel your soul and know how to help you move to your next step to unleash your highest potential. Sometimes we're gifted with friends like this- other times we're not.
Here's a splendid rare opportunity to privately coach with me in a 45 minute session for $149!
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I would love to hear your comments below. Does this post resonate? Do you ever fall into a default and reach out for the wrong support? What's the impact?
Stay True to You!