*In the beginning I meant to say, "Most of the world is analyzing from a Linear Way"
You are more intuitive than you think.
Ready to work that muscle?
Are you using all of your perceptive power? It's not likely. Most people are only using a fraction of their brain, a fraction of their physical power, and a tiny tiny fraction of their perceptive power.
What is perceptive power? We perceive from various places depending on the situation. We perceive facts. We perceive through emotion. We perceive through the place of the mythic and the soul- the invisible unseen world. And we perceive from the great place of oneness- or Spirit.
You can say, some of us are intuitive and others aren't. I say it's just a muscle and one way to increase your intuitive powers is to increase your muscle of non-linear perception.
Most people are only on the first two channels perceiving from the factual or emotional.
These places are linear. We have been trained to see facts in a linear way. We have been trained to tie emotions to a cause and often misinterpret the cause since emotions really are not that linear at all!
Non linear perception allows us to see what is invisible to other people. It allows us to connect dots of a cause that seem completely unrelated and realize how they are all happening for us -for us to learn, to answer a question, solve a problem and to personally evolve.
When we perceive in a non-linear way- we come from the mythic...the place of the Soul. The soul is in this body for the purpose of evolution.
When we actualize our gifts and talents we are contributing to our Soul's EVOLUTION.
When we piece the puzzle of life together using more of our non linear powers of perception, we unleash even more of our gifts and talents- this is true for the wildestly brilliant mathematician as well as the ballerina, the drummer and the corporate leader.
A great example of non- linear perception is in the medical field. An intuitive healer uses this power of non-linear perception when they see a health issue from a holistic view -where all parts of the body work together. In the medical world a diagnosis is often linear, it's evidenced based, but for this situation, that wouldn't be happening.
There is always a circumstance traced linearly to a cause...even in the most non-linear of circumstances. This is why so many doctors will say they can't figure out why something is happening when it doesn't match the text book definition.
Health is related to our emotions and even our spirit yet it definitely takes a non linear diagnosis to tie these together. Can you point to something in your life or a problem in your business or work calling for you to perceive why or how this is happening for you in a non-linear way?
I invite you to apply these three tips to increase your powers of non-linear perception:
3 Tips to Increase Your Intuitive Power by Increasing Your Powers of Non-Linear Perception:
1. Sit everyday for a few minutes in total quiet and calm. Ask your higher self to show you a sign today- a sign of your next best step. Be intentional and focused about it. Then use this new lens of perception to look and see signs that show up for you.
2. Observe someone telling you a story and just notice how linear it all sounds. This step is to start being aware of how linear most people perceive byhow they explain situations and stories. By observing this you have a set point, and start to notice when you're also operating in that linear place.
3. By observing your default from that linear place, start to play with potential non-linear explanations as well. Look at all the facts of a story or situation and the larger question you asked and see how the situation happened for you, to show you, teach, you or guide you to something.
Example: This happens for me a lot. I turn my car around and go home because I forgot something important. I am initially frustrated. I run in the house, look where I know it is, and poof right in front of me is something else I lost 2 months ago that I was looking for and asked 'Spirit' to help me find. I had overlooked it time and time again and this act of forgetting something else that caused me to run back and find what I lost 2 months ago is non-linear.
How I perceive this is- My higher self had me purposefully forget this thing so I would turn around and come back and find that other thing. It can be seen as linear. If you perceive it as linear than you're already using your non linear powers. Many people would think I'm crazy, it's 'just a coincidence.'
Yeah, so what's a coincidence?
Did this help you? Share or ask questions below and let's all become more powerful perceivers and unlock even more of our potential!
Stephanie Trager, Esq.
Success Coach, Business Strategist, Performance Specialist
Request a Coaching Session Here ~
There is No Limit to Your Potential!
Are you deciding how you can move forward or why you can't?
I was at a phenomenal conference this week and this slide came up on the screen. I paused and thought deeply about a decision I was feeling stuck on and questioned where I fit on the scale of decision making speed.
Napolean Hill - Think and Grow Rich
This brought up 3 questions I asked myself and thought it would be a great tool for making decisions to check in with these 3 questions. So I share them with you now and before I do, I ask you to bring to mind one decision you're making right now.
If you're not making any decisions than you're not likely growing. And since I attract growth minded folks here, I'm going to challenge you to find a decision and write it down. It could be whether to buy something or change something, let go of something, or pursue a different direction. It could be big or small. What's a decision you've been chewing on for a minute?
1. Are you coming from a growth mindset?
A growth mindset is one that sees possibility. A growth mindset sees forward and what may be gained where a fixed mindset sees what it will lose. A growth mindset sees problems as opportunities and looks for solutions. A growth mindset sees failure as a pebble on the path forward, not a reason to stop and throw in the towel.
Making decisions from a growth mindset, we ask questions that unleash possibility. We may still balance risk though we ultimately decide based on how to make it work instead of why it can't.
2. Are you coming from a fixed mindset?
A fixed mindset is limited. It comes from a lack point of view and when in this mindset people make decisions based on how much they'll lose or how much less they will have vs. how much more is possible. A fixed mindset as defined in Carol Dweck's book "Mindset," is one which sees flaws and problems instead of beauty and opportunity. The book is way more detailed and an encouraged read.
A fixed mindset sees problems as reasons to stop or give up. You can have a growth mindset and make decisions from a fixed mindset sometimes. This is a continuum, a spectrum and is not 'fixed' necessarily all of the time.
*Take the Free Influence Factor Self Assessment and find out how your decisions are influencing your circumstances, results and your life Click Here
3. Are you changing a decision or making a new decision?
Making quick decisions is a universal trait among super successful and wealthy individuals. On the same token these folks take longer to change a decision. In Napolean Hill's, "Think and Grow Rich," his studies show that those who don't get far in executing their life dream are very slow at making decisions and quick to change a decision.
Sometimes it seems as though we're making a slow decision yet really we are slowly changing a decision we already made. The power here -which successful people master -is DISCERNMENT.
The take away here is to know yourself and fine tune your decision making process. Whether you're fixed or growth, can change. It takes a DECISION to change. When we uncover where we are on the spectrum of fixed or growth, and decide to grow, it then takes practice.
Mindset truly is a journey of self-mastery. And any journey of mastery requires commitment, focus, dedication and discipline. What are you deciding today and how are you deciding it?
Was this useful? I'd love to hear your comments... What is one thing you can do today to empower a growth mindset?
Best of the Best to you!
Stephanie Trager, Esq.
Success Coach, Business Strategist, Performance Specialist
Request a Coaching Session Here ~
There is No Limit to Your Potential!
The Journey of Increase™
A mind mastery journey to increase your powers of influence, mental focus and manifestation so you can have more of what you want ON PURPOSE!
Ideas are not yours forever.
Imagine out there somewhere invisible is a universal bank of well, everything. ideas, money, love, anger, wellness, illness.....
Our job is to tap into the central operating system of universal intelligence and set the commands to deliver and activate within us, that which we desire.
Imagine there is a two way operating line.
One line sends signals from you to the universal intelligence station... on what you want and are ready, willing and able to reveive.
The other line comes from the universal bank or intelligence. It gives you ideas, ability, information, healing, codes to upgrade your operating system, abundance channels, opportunities.... and it gives you illness, lack, challenges and struggle if that's the program or input you are giving it.
This central intelligence, or universal bank is not only taking commands from your conscious mind.
It takes commands from your subconscious mind (unconscious self) and embedded psyche as well as your energy field and imprints stored there.
How do other people think of our brilliant ideas?
Ideas come to you and go back to that intelligence bank if they are important enough to be actualized on the current world stage. You are entrusted with genius for a sheer moment or more- precisely because you have the capacity to achieve and actualize the full potential of your idea. So do others.
The question is, will you act on it?
Do you have the confidence, influence, personal discipline, faith in yourself, faith in the idea --this is really faith in God- or some other force that be OUTSIDE of yourself. Do you have the level of mental focus and enthusiasm to deliver the idea to the world? It could be that you just give the idea to someone who does.
Many of us have these brilliant ideas and sit on them because 'they're ours.' The reason why masterminds, think tanks and other institutions hire people with great ideas, is to link those ideas to the resources required to actualize them.
THE WORLD NEEDS ALL HANDS ON DECK. Right Now.
If you've had an idea - a burning idea that wants to manifest through you, now is your time.
Just take one step and inch in closer. What would that first step be? What holds you back?
If you're like many super smart people I know, you are constantly soaking up information, strategies, 'HOW TO's' and on and on. The BEST STRATEGIES do not work without the influence to go with them.
When the same strategies that work for some aren't working for you, it's good to pause and reflect on what subconscious commands are beaming out to the Infinite Intelligence.
When you are aware of what's going on in the invisible realms of your mind, you have more power, more influence and more focus to manifest what you really want.
Here's a useful tool you can use over and over when you need an instant upgrade to your personal power and want to show up with empowered presence. This tool may help you inch forward, take that next uncomfortable step and actualize your brilliant ideas. One step at a time!
We’re always influencing ourselves and our outcomes and I've created this free tool for you to completely flip your paradigm, increase your confidence, ooze inner power and exude magnetic attraction all when you You Need a Boost Before:
Use this cheat sheet and tell me how it works for you! Remember, increasing your power is a practice and with practice we improve and increase!
Be TRUE to You!
Stephanie Trager, Esq.
Success Coach, Business Strategist, Performance Specialist
Request a Coaching Session Here ~
There is No Limit to Your Potential!
The One Ingredient You Need to Rocket Launch Any Strategy &
How to Get It
We're in some pretty intense times as far as the cosmos are concerned. We as a collective are feeling it.
It's showing up collectively as environmental disaster, political WTF, genocides of cultures (yeah, happening now), continued gender inequality, and you catch my drift.
What's your cause? What problem are you passionate about solving?
What's your purpose here in this lifetime- now?
We're individually being called to wake up even more and align with our individual sense of purpose.
Anything else just isn't going to work and will continue to show up as struggle. Something may be tugging at you this very moment to capture your attention, "Hey Me, it's time to step up now, get to to the bottom of this, and shine your light. The world needs you now!"
Is it showing up for you individually as:
Are you feeling like you're at the end of your rope and ready for a serious personal upgrade to your operating system? You can have the best strategy on the planet - a business genius feeding you the steps, a health or fitness guru mapping your plan, a financial wizard working your books, and still feel like it's all falling through the cracks.
The ONE INGREDIENT to seal those cracks and catapult any strategy to success is INFLUENCE.
When you improve HOW you speak to others, HOW you convey your message, (not just what your message is- so entrepreneurs listen up- you can have a fabulous marketing message worth didly if you don't have influence in HOW you deliver it) and HOW you hold space energetically in professional settings.
Every moment you are influencing your outcomes.
Influence is the capacity to have an impact or effect on something or someone that causes something-
THREE WAYS TO EMPOWER YOUR
INFLUENCE -ON PURPOSE:
1. Show up with certainty and confidence in your value, your offering, your idea, or intelligence, your ability, your conviction, and be committed to your desired outcomes no matter what.
If you're not 100% on all of the above, it's worth investing in this area of growth first- finding your passion, connecting to a sense of purpose, empowering your self-worth and value, and strengthening your desire to become who you secretly wish to be... You can start with books, home study programs, private support- coaching, spiritual support, therapy, finding a mentor, -objective support is often best.
2. Have an objective person give feedback on your copy, your writing, marketing and conversation skills- (and emails) including sales conversations if you're in business for yourself. You could be leaving real money, big opportunities, and real service to others on the table by not leveraging your ability to convey your message, ask for help, or maximize windfall opportunities to position your offerings / ideas in ways that truly benefit your market/ clients/ constituents- and YOURSELF.
I see so much extraordinary talent as a gift in my line of work. It's an honor to be among potential giants. Giants are born of influence. The more we grow our muscle of influence- and it is an innate power we all have which can be built like a muscle- the more we unleash our true potential and move into Gianthood.
3. Have an objective person give feedback on your subconscious looping. What is subconscious looping? I use this phrase to denote how we speak, how we show up (presence) and how we think, write and act to satisfy and feed the subconscious program or belief system even when it doesn't match what we say we want on the outside.
We're often influencing ourselves in subtle and not so subtle ways without even knowing it. This is where we take ourselves out and given the BEST STRATEGY EVER for landing the BIGGEST BEST CLIENTS- BUSINESS ACCOUNTS-- PARTNERS---SUPPORT--whatever you want- if you're influencing yourself without even knowing it you could be taking yourself out at the gate.
Let's say you're a business owner with a service or product and we design a business model with a clear strategy to gross $250,000 extra in sales this year. Then we clarify your niche/target market and we create stellar marketing copy- a powerful message (elevator pitch) and you begin fleshing out new ways to position yourself and offer your expertise.
Next we create a well of opportunity to tap into with specific steps to take and benchmarks calendared for the first 3-5 months. It's clear and you're clear on what needs to be done and what actions need to be taken. Then, 'the rubber meets the road.'
What happens if any of the above 3 areas are not in good stead?
The stellar strategy will melt. It will sit on the shelf and you may blame the market, your spouse, your dog, or your couch. The best strategy in this situation is to DECIDE and COMMIT to improving your POWERS OF CONSCIOUS INFLUENCE.
What's required to improve your influence? Influence is an inner game first. It's a commitment to personal growth, transformation and evolution so you can truly actualize your gifts and talent and show up as the true and full you -meant for GIANTHOOD.
***Stay tuned for an exciting upcoming opportunity to catapult yourself into GIANTHOOD!
Be True to You!
Stephanie Trager, Esq.
Success Coach, Business Strategist, Performance Specialist
Request a Coaching Session Here ~
There is No Limit to Your Potential!
Have you taken the Influence Factor Self Assessment? - No mind mastery journey begins without first assessing where you are. It's free and mega insightful. Opt in here ~ for your instant download...
How Persuasive Are You?
In this world we live, where money fuels the going arounds, you are always selling something. Believe me? You sell yourself a story about how the world works, about how good or bad you are, about what is right or wrong and about how others respond to you.
This article is intended to give you a boost in believing- YOU ARE GOOD AT SALES.
Sales and selling is really just getting your point across and helping someone make a decision on whether there is something exchanged for something.
Everyone is selling something- we’re selling ourselves and we’re selling others.
The question is what are you selling and what story are you buying?
Are you buying this story?
“Sales is arrogant?”
“I can’t sell.”
“I wish I were better at sales.”
“Self-promotion is arrogant.”
“I’m successful no matter what!” or,
I’m stuck, I have a hard time getting clients,”
“I don’t think I can do this.”
You’re buying a story from yourself, your family, your community, society...
So what is that story? When you uncover what you believe about 'selling' and 'sales' and 'people who sell,' you get to move into a different space and embrace your real powers of persuasion. Instead of persuading yourself that you're not so good at sales, you never want to be good at sales because it's slimey, or you are terrible at asserting your real value, how about DECIDING to PERCEIVE this whole thing in a new way.
Give this story a try out loud:
“I love giving people what they need and being able to hold space for the sacred conversation that fuels this process. It feels wonderful to receive my value in exchange for providing such results.”
Your subconscious mind is bent on getting buy-in from your conscious mind- UNLESS you reroute the story CONSCIOUSLY. Whatever your subconscious mind believes, it sells to your conscious mind (under the table). How do you re-route the conversation? Start to embrace how you are selling yourself on all of your beliefs. Then listen attentively to the words that come out of your mouth ALL DAY LONG.
What truth do you speak with such certainty that you could sell it to a child? What truth do you believe with your heart that you convey with passion and purpose? What do you believe in so much that you easily influence others to jump on board with? Break this down. It's worth one day to study yourself.
Sales is nothing more than a conversation.
Like every conversation, when you come from a place of integrity and deep faith in what you are sharing, whether it be a truth, information, services, a product, a thing, advice, directions- there is an exchange. The exchange can be energetic, it can be gratitude for something and it can be value for value.
In the specific case of selling your awesomeness, position or expertise, consideration in the form of money is a beautiful way to consecrate the exchange. Its ancient, its normal, it's accepted and it's functional.
Why is the Money Exchange Important?
Legally a contract requires an offer, and acceptance and consideration. Consideration can be anything of value.
When we talk about selling services, we’re really just brokering a deal to provide a solution for someone’s challenge or problem. A sale or selling (when it is invited or welcomed if unsolicited) is really just a form of sacred reciprocity.
Sacred Reciprocity is the intention brought to the exchange. It's an energy of flow that embues a powerful life force to a value for value exchange. What powers this process is KNOWING YOUR VALUE and CONFIDENTLY OFFERING YOUR SOLUTION to someone WHO VALUES YOU TOO.
The Money Exchange is a great opportunity to consecrate an agreement or contract that helps all parties know what their duties and responsibilities are and the more clear and direct, the better for all involved.
So why do so many people cringe and think they can’t sell or don’t want to?
People lack confidence in what they are selling- whether it’s their brilliance, expertise or ability to get the job done- once we close the gap on this little piece- the rocket takes off.
Here are 3 Tips to Unleash Your Inner Sales Mojo:
1. Embrace that every word out of your mouth is a prayer for it to happen. Speak your desires and only speak positively about yourself, others, selling and sales, and your ability to sell. Selling is magical when you embrace the art of Sacred Reciprocity.
2. Do that deep dive into your own relationship to selling and uncover all your hidden beliefs about sales, the process, what you like or don't like about it and why you think you're good or not good at sales. Then ask yourself if any of this is true. Get clear on what you want. Do you need to be persuasive, influential or good at selling (getting your point across and helping someone make a decision) in order to create the impact you desire? If the answer is no.... then carry on with your path. If the answer is yes, then determine to embrace sales as a form of sacred reciprocity and commit to mastering the art.
3. Ask for help (or DO self help) No one moves mountains alone. If you've read this far and feel a weird twinge in your gut, if you feel resistance to embracing all of this, if you feel resistance to self promotion or sales at all, you're probably cutting yourself short on your ability to have what you want. This can be in your own income, in your business, in negotiations, in opportunities, in funding for projects to help others and the world... the list goes on. PROFIT or NON-PROFIT - how we influence ourselves and others determines how far we leap to our destiny!
You are on this planet to contribute your amazing gifts and power. UNLEASH YOUR POWER and OWN YOUR VALUE by ALLOWING others to BUY it!
Was this helpful? Please share thoughts and comments below!
Over the next month I’m excited to share more tips on how to unleash your inner sales mojo, turn on your powers of influence and own your value for real! I’ll be sharing two separate BRAND NEW happenings that are so exciting I’m oozing with joy to share!!!
Thanks for reading… comment or ask your questions and let’s move forth abundantly and confidently because heads up- you’re awesome at selling!
Stephanie Trager, Esq.
Success Coach, Business Strategist, Performance Specialist
Request a Coaching Session Here
What do you want more of? I want more ____________.
Clients, money, ease, help, support, health, vitality, energy, love, attention, purpose and meaning, visibility, opportunity, confidence, fun and adventure...
I just returned from the AMAZON jungle. What I learned even more- is how and why we need to to be in 'right relationship' with ourselves and our surroundings at all times no matter what because we are ALWAYS getting MORE.
More of what is the question!
What does 'right relationship' mean?
Right Relationship is how we influence ourselves and everything at all times.
When we are not in right relationship- harmony- congruent open and reciprocal, we put the breaks on our flow. It's that simple. Cause and Effect.
So if you want _______, where are you not in right relationship in your life- and how is that contributing to you not having what you want?
If it's more clients- i have news for you, it's not necessarily about better marketing. It's about what's going on inside of you.
Here I am after 34 hours traveling, on a 4 hour boat ride on a gorgeous river in the Amazon- heading toward base camp and a funny thing happened....
We stopped at a check point where the biggest Iron Tree lives.
To visit the tree, you had to get out of the boat, step on the sand, and walk up a steep slippery slope. I was excited. I tromped off the boat and sunk 12 inches into the ground! Almost up to my knees. Both feet. Goodbye clean shoes! Hello mosquitos and welcome to the Amazon!
I checked in with where my thoughts were- I was frantic, exhausted, judgmental and totally not present. It made perfect sense I got my wake up call from Mama Amazon the fist step I took on her!
It was a beautiful moment.
Being in right relationship is the magic involved in getting exactly what you want when you want it.
The more in 'right relationship'- expressing your natural gifts and talents and being open to the immeasurable abundance and ease that surrounds you, theeasier it is to manifest what you want.
There is a special formula though that most people miss, which includes bypassing the intricate web of the psyche.
Our psyche is a complex organism with it's own agenda.
How is your psyche stopping you? Do you have what you want? Health, wealth, business stealth? Do you feel directed and clear and certain of your success inside out? Is there a gap for you that would be helpful to fill?
Right relationship means taking action to fill that gap no matter what. Reach out and let's talk if I may be of service to you.
PS: 1 SPOT OPEN For a JUNGLE POWERED VIP DAY
~ Upgrade your personal manifesting power, increase your influence, strategically design a more lucrative rewarding and abundant business/ career /life purpose path- leverage more of your gifts and talents- AND release imprints and old energies that are sabotaging your brilliant and amazing next level of evolution!
YES this is all possible in this VIRTUAL RETREAT VIP DAY (live optional). This private VIRTUAL Retreat with me is prefaced by a deep investigatory coaching session and followed by a surprise.
I so desire to share even more of the wisdom I have brought back from the AMAZON. There is so much power and force waiting here to transmit to you and your mission.
Reach our for a no -cost exploratory call to see if this is the best fit for you. email today- this week is the last week I'm offering this special opportunity at a very reduced investment ~ to make this possible for anyone who really truly wants/desires/longs for CHANGE from the inside out now! firstname.lastname@example.org
Stephanie Trager, Esq.
Success Coach, Business Strategist
Attorney & Consultant
There is NO Limit to Your Potential
[Influence Factor Self-Assessment Tool] How are you influencing your outcomes? Find out how you score when it comes to influence - your success depends on it!
Download Your Self-Assessment Here
Love from Cusco,
We think there is some abominable force out there messing with the market, ruining our life, throwing a wrench in our relationships, and keeping us from accessing inner and outer abundance.
Maybe we deserved it, maybe we have bad luck, maybe we’re not good enough, maybe we’re just not meant to have what we really want in this life, maybe we’re not smart or good looking enough. Maybe we’re not sharp enough or savvy enough. Maybe we’re the wrong race, the wrong nationality, or we were born at the wrong time so our astrological chart has us cursed for the rest of our lives.
You know that all of that is ridiculous. All of it. If you disagree then your own resistance to knowing the truth and your own desire to keep telling yourself a story that’s not true, will create the very destiny you’re choosing. Your outcomes will match the prophecy you ascribe to and that’s the end of that. If that’s what you want there is no point in reading on.
If you want to start making quantum shifts in your life from the inside out and you want to start seeing some majorly different results, it starts with you and only you. Your words, the dialogue with you and yourself and the conversation you’re colluding with in your community will dictate your outcomes like clockwork.
Here are 4 Reasons You’re Not Getting What You Want and How to Fix It:
*Heads Up- I'm going straight and direct here
1. You keep saying ‘yeah but’ and then telling a story of the past to justify why you can’t have what you want now- or why you don’t want to do something now. If you want a certain outcome and continue to revert to the past and what didn't work, you're making excuses for the future.
An excuse literally excuses the thing from happening that you say you want. Either commit to being congruent with your words and align them to what you say you want, or take responsibility and own that you don't really really want it. (I recommend studying Universal Law *ask me if you're not sure what this is)
2. You keep colluding with stories and problems you say you don’t want- which actually gives you more of them. You must commit to completely delete these woes from your dialogue and begin speaking only of what you desire. There is a formula for this! (My Journal of Increase home study course teaches this very science while teaching you how to increase your influence) .
What this looks like is- You say you are worried about the political debate currently happening. So you post articles and keep saying things about the candidate you don’t want to have in office. You’re effectively branding the person, helping them market themselves, and keeping the name front and center 24/7- or you’re colluding with the collective madness that’s doing it.
Another example, say you want to be thinner or more fit. You really really want this. You keep telling yourself a story about why you can’t be that way instead of committing no matter what to having what you want. Eating differently and exercising differently are parallel actions to the words we think and speak. (eat/ think --- exercise/speak) both of these are committed deliberate activities that deliver different results.
HINT: The beginning of a sentence doesn't begin with, "I want to loose 10 lbs and have a six pack so I'm going to ...." It looks like this, "I loose 10 pounds easily and quickly in a healthy way that inspires me daily to take action that strengthens my core and I see the beautiful six pack of strength there in front of me!" See the difference?
*This is not easy. It takes diligence, fortitude, commitment and willingness to admit you've been doing this all wrong your whole life and it sucks that no-one told you sooner- (or they did but we only learn what we're ready to learn when we're ready to learn it.) Hey I experienced the same come to truth moment. I wouldn't be lecturing here if I didn't KNOW this to BE TRUE!
3. You are focused on the future happening of what you want and worried it's not going to happen. If you want something- you have to align with it now. You want to get up and go to the bathroom. So you get up and go to the bathroom. Not much thought right?
When you want to double your income, what do you do? What thought pattern happens? What do you not do? What needs to happen that you’re not doing? If you’re doing everything you think you can do and you’re telling a story about a long sales cycle or a line of reasoning about why it’s not possible this moment, then you’re not aligned with this moment and the endless possibilities for abundance and money to come to you from anyone, anywhere and at anytime.
How to fix this is (I recommend an objective laser issue spotter to coach you here) to start being aware of HOW you think and speak. What's your default? How do you normally solve problems and what level of fear, doubt and worry are not paying rent in your head yet stealing all the groceries? If you want to change the outcome, how willing are you to engage new faculties that teach you how to think differently? I recommend taking this Self-Assessment (The Influence Factor Self Assessment) as it will show you where you're actually influencing your outcomes in the opposite direction than that which you say you want.
The number one key to aligning with what you want NOW is to speak in a manner that reflects your 100% belief that all channels are lining up for you to receive what you want. If you're not currently doing this, I HIGHLY recommend reaching out for support here- because it's the KEY to improving your results and it takes diligent self-study or an objective witness to point where you may be sabotaging (the blind spot).- we all do it and we all have them!
4. And lastly, you’re resisting help. I’m a coach. I work with people all day. I read betwen the lines. This gives me great insight into how we sabotage ourselves. I say ‘ourselves’ because I do it too. What I’ve learned is this: We can learn a lot about personal transformation, manifesting tools, affirmations, the power of ‘NOW’, the be present truth, and other very powerful ways to grow ourselves and transcend our challenges. There is a big difference between knowing and applying or embodying these principles.
You may cognitively understand it but are you really applying the power of now?
It takes me 4 second to assess if someone is locked in alignment with what they say they want or if they’re off. It’s also a quick adjustment AND it only works if there is NO RESISTANCE. So this 4th reason you may not be getting what you say you want is the power of the Universal Law of Resistance. You can’t have what you want if you’re full of reasons why it’s not possible.
How to fix this? Get in alignment quickly. How do you get in alignment? You first have to understand how why you’re not in alignment. What you want is there and possible for you within the realm of physics. And it’s our job as humans to figure our how to have what we want by aligning with it presently here now. It could be a really twisted journey to get there but it’s there.
The big take away is this. Release the need to be linear in thinking. Invite other possibilities. Speak only of what you want. Speak only of possibility until you believe it so so certainly. Speak only words of what you wish to experience. Learn this new language. We as a society have been taught to speak in a way that lacks service to our finest potential. You can change this quickly with the right direction.
The TIP of the DAY- learn how to speak what you desire.
Stephanie Trager, Esq.
Success Coach, Business Strategist, Performance Specialist
Request a Coaching Session Here
Back doors open leak energy.
When you set a goal and condition it upon how much money you have, how much time you have, or how much desire you have, when the rubber meets the road, you essentially have one foot on the gas and one on the break.
What does that do?
It leaks energy all over the place, indecision runs rampant and you become blind to potential opportunities because you're too busy looking for your conditions being met. Are you resonating with this? Is this you or someone you know?
When we're in this state of gas/break - back doors open -leaking energy, we're unknowingly pulling everyone we come into contact with into our mess- or being pulled into theirs.
If you resonate with this, think of how this shows up for you. Are you consistently saying, "Yes I want to move forward and change ___" and then stop, start, subconscious programming spinning you in all directions? Are you reaching out for help and attracting others into your vortex of mushy boundary spin?
Or maybe you're on full speed ahead and you notice others around you in this space of
leaky energy which equates to leaky boundaries. Are you allowing them to pull you into their mess?
You may not be resonating at all -yet this very well may be you.
What happens when we're in this state- of either attracting others into our mess or being attracted into theirs- is always an opportunity for growth. Often we're not even conscious it's happening.
The symptoms show up as:
1. Feeling like we're not being valued
2. We give away our time, money and power and blame others for their craziness
3. We disempower others by coming to the rescue
4. We feel victimized by all this craziness 'others' are bringing to our world
5. We lash out and blame
6. We stay stuck in a spin of indecision usually laden with worry
I pick up on energy very quickly. One thing I experience when I'm speaking to a potential client or client experiencing this mushy boundary spin is that I start to get spun up in it. I love when this happens.
A big red flag goes up for me because I notice right away I'm off my flow. This helps me tune in and be of best support (or decide this client is not for me) because I see it and experience the visceral effect pretty quickly. I then get to apply my back door closing strategy with them which generates quick results so they have an immediate quantum shift in their lives.
Here's what you can do to experience a quantum shift right away
(*And if this doesn't work for you then reach out to me fast because it's definitely costing you money, time and energy to not have this little situation fixed!)
5 Steps to Tightening Your Boundaries for an Immediate Quantum Shift in Any Area of Your Life:
1. Crazy Honest Self Inquiry: Get really honest with yourself and ask yourself why this situation is showing up for you over and over. Notice the patterns and what triggers them.
2. Ask yourself how you are causing this situation. A little known strategy to own your life and take responsibility for all of cause and effect actually empowers you to create a quantum shift right away. This step is not about blaming yourself. It's about being objective, stepping back and saying, "How am I responsible for this?"
3. List all the places your back doors are open (escape hatch to actually doing what you said you want to do) and where you're not fully committed. Ask yourself 'why?'. Don't worry if you don't understand your answers. Often they don't make sense to the conscious mind but they are certainly part of an intricate and brilliant subconscious strategy to protect you (since that's what the subconscious mind is doing for most people who haven't done this level of deep dive yet).
4. List how each of your answers to #3 is impacting your life- finances, relationships, success personal happiness, health...
5. Decide what you need to and want to do about it and by when you will do it.
It's often easier said than done. I encourage you to pause and implement this exercise and see what you come up with. Who, What, When, Where, Why, How - are mushy boundary spins showing up in my life -either caused or attracted by me?
Was this helpful for you? Comment and share a nugget you're taking away!
Be true to you!
Stephanie Trager, Esq.
Business Strategist, Success Coach
Request a Coaching Session Here
Activate Your Influence: 7 Days to Increase Your Influence & Get
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How do you generally move through your day when your plate is more than full?
You've got a million things to do. You have more tasks than humanly possible to complete in one day plus family and life and exercise, meditation and time to pause and breath.
What's your modus operendi? When it comes to stretching how you handle what's on your plate so you keep growing and sowing the future of your dreams- you must KNOW YOURSELF.
Knowing how much is too much for you is key. By the same token, if you desire to accomplish more and would like to stretch so that you are able to take on more tasks and projects at a time while still showing up for yourself and intentionally steering the outcomes of your life, here are a few simple (not easy) tips to help you ease through when your plate is more than full:
When Your Plate is More Than Full:
Tip 1: KNOW WHAT is MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU and CHECK IN DAILY
-Starting each day knowing what is most important to you that day is crucial to stay in
alignment with your overarching values and desired outcomes. What's even more important than a daily check in is knowing what your goals are for the year (and longer term), having a road-map, action plans, accountability, your success support team and knowing what's important to you about achieving those goals or your big vision.
Knowing what's most important to you helps you check in with your daily importance meter. It's ok if a few weeks a year go by and you're overcome with things that trump what's important to you.
But, if you're entire lifestyle is not congruent with what you say you want to achieve and you're saying yes to things that don't help you get there- and no to things that do, then it's time to pause and get clear with yourself. Clarity and knowing what you want helps you stay congruent with actualizing your vision, knowing how much you can say yes to and having stronger boundaries so you focus and stay the course no matter what.
Otherwise, one more thing to the plate and soon you'll realize you were heading to Hawaii and you'll find yourself in Katmandu!
Tip 2: BOUNDARIES:
One of the biggest taker outers when it comes to staying on target to accomplish what we set out to do is weak boundaries. When we keep saying yes and adding things to our plate- even if they're things we really want to do- we have to pause and check in with how it will affect us and our original plan.
If you're someone who says, bring it on, delegates, leads and runs a smooth ship while enjoying work and balancing time for you/family/health/feeding your soul - then you probably have a good guage on your boundaries. If you're all business for one or two years because that's what lights you up and you have a big plan that requires serious focus- then you definitely need strong boundaries connected to what's important to you.
If you're someone who says yes then feels overwhelmed and resentful, you're probably up for a wonderful breakthrough around strengthening your boundaries. I used to think I had strong boundaries when it came to my time and focus. Then I realized it wasn't true in areas I needed it most- giving away my time and expertise for nothing.
It was a process of personal growth and standing in the truth of my value to strengthen my boundaries which in turn gets to empower others to stand in their own value .
I notice when I'm exhuasted or my plate is too full- my boundaries weaken. Why do you think that is? Because when we're overloaded and already stretched - we have less energy to tune into our intuition and hear what we really want to say. A no is a no. A yes is a yes and a maybe is a no until it's a yes. Firm boundaries allow you to hear your inner guidance say yes or no and remind you to stick to it and say what you mean.
When you're tired you have less decision making and will power available and you revert to default behaviors. If having weak boundaries is your default- know thyself and have a back up plan when you're tired!
Tip 3: STRETCH with GRACE and POISE:
If you're like me, (and not exactly like Richard Branson who says yes and employs a cadre of implementors on a flinch) when you feel overwhelmed and your plate is too full, you may pause and check in with what's important to you, realize this will pull you forward and then ask, "How can I make this happen and still __________-." Fill in the blank with what is important to you and what you're not willing to let go of.
How can I say yes to this and still accomplish all of my writing for the week, enroll new clients and give them my 1000% focus and energy as I enjoy doing, meet 4 new people a week who have populated my calendar, say yes to planning the gala, say yes to spearheading a new committee, plan the next event, have plenty of time for family, workout 6 days this week, meditate 20 minutes each morning and still show up for all of my other commitments?
Will this new thing add value to my life, business or purposeful pursuit? Will it pull me forward? Is it a long-term overwhelm or short term opportunity to stretch, delegate, ask for help, evolve to a new level of self-mastery OR will this pummel me over the edge making me want to cry?
Know yourself. We're all so different. Being systematic about how you grow and evolve is all about knowing you, knowing where you want to go, and knowing what's non-negotiable to get there.
Have fun and let me know how these go!
What is your biggest take away here about how you handle your flow when you add one more thing to your already over crowded plate?
Have you thought deeply about this truth: "We only know what we know. We sorta know what we don't know. And, we don't know what we don't know."
I remember when I was practicing law and envied people with cool lives where it was tax deductible for them to enjoy their passion.
If you've been reading my notes or have worked with me in the past- you know my shpeel is all about personal evolution. That's why I made the switch and chose personal & professional development as a profession. (Engineered this on purpose)
I had no idea HOW I could create a life like that though there was a very distinct moment I DECIDED I was going to figure it out no matter what. I made a choice. (Destiny Jump™ = Choice)
Next week is Destiny Jump™ - register
A One day Workshop in New York City where my guests are going to experience some wild out of the ordinary opportunities to tap into places they don't know they don't know - to find out what they NEED to know about their next steps in their careers, businesses and lives- to have what they really want- success inside out.
Would you like to find out things you need to know-- that you don't know --about your next level of personal and professional success?
Imagine, a window that would show you where you're totally holding yourself back in your life and HOW to move beyond it so you can have what you really want.
Then imagine that same view shows you the opportunities you haven't been seeing because of this not knowing what you don't know.
What does lawyer + business strategist + success coach + shaman - bring to this event? I'm going to open your window!
There are some spaces and I WANT TO INVITE YOU!
Saturday, January 30, 2016
Time: 11:00 am - 5:00 pm
New York City
We start January 26th with a Group Coaching Call on:
HOW TO RELEASE THE RESISTANCE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IS HOLDING YOU BACK from YOUR REAL POTENTIAL!
Be True to You!
A poem ...
The Place Where You Are Now
This place where you are right now
God circled on a map for you.
Wherever your eyes and arms and heart can move
Against the earth and the sky,
The Beloved has bowed there –
Our Beloved has bowed there knowing
You were coming.
I could tell you a priceless secret about
Your real worth, dear pilgrim,
But any unkindness to yourself,
Any confusion about others,
Will keep one
From accepting the grace, the love,
The sublime freedom
Divine knowledge always offers to you.
Never mind, Hafiz, about
The great requirements this path demands
Of the wayfarers,
For your soul is too full of wine tonight
To withhold the wondrous Truth from this world.
But because I am so clever and generous,
I have already clearly woven a resplendent lock
Of his tresses
As a remarkable truth and gift
In this poem for you.
Want to listen instead of read?
Your Powerful Option of Choice
What does it mean to Destiny Jump™?
*(Grab your seat-a real chair offline- for my live Destiny Jump™workshop in New York City here while tickets are just $97 through December) www.destinyjump.com
The short answer first: To HAVE exactly what you want in life and feel 1000% aligned, powerful and living on purpose.
The longer answer includes knowing how destiny and fate differ because you then get to tune into your life and your choices and realize where you are choosing fate instead of destiny. Very empowering thing to do.
Meditate on this: Choice.
Fate is this- if you are not thrilled about every area of your life- and you continue to live and do nothing to take full responsibility and change it, your life or that area of your life will have a certain story. ie. What's my purpose, how do I fully monetize and actualize my real purpose work in the world?
If you do not take solving this question seriously now and do what it takes to answer the call- life will look the same in 25 years. That's FATE.
The story from one area eventually bleeds over into other areas and soon what was once just emotional, becomes physical or financial, or spiritual, or relationships-- you get it, it's a holistic picture.
Fate is the outcome that is congruent with exactly where you are nowand the story you're telling now unless you choose something else completely.
Destiny is an option. Destiny requires choice. Not half in choice, it's all in- back doors closed, maybe out the window, choice.
What I know to be true is most people think they're choosing what they want but they're just choosing to want what they want. Not actually choosing the desired outcome.
I'll be teaching a special technique around this in Destiny Jump™ my live January 30th, 2016 workshop in New York City. here I've seen impeccable income strategies and plans around health, wealth, business, relationship... crumble without having this component of the Visioning process dialed in. I've seen meager simple strategies sky rocket success because the actualizer used my Destiny Jump™ technique.
Destiny Jump™ does not have to be a giant leap, huge life change, or epic right turn. Destiny Jump™ is a process I've designed that reprograms the limbic brain's decision making process and helps you have exactly what you want. It must be part of the tactical and logistical strategy. That's why we'll be working with both at my live event on January 30th. (lock in your ticketand save $100 until December 31st)
Our limbic brain is the reflexive ancient part of your system that decides outcomes based on a program or strategy formed long ago for good purpose. (on purpose). Hint: We are ALWAYS on purpose.
The strategy that is our default program may not reflect who we have become and who we desire to be. That's where frustration comes in. "I've done all this work, evolved myself personally, and why am I still ________ or not _______, why does my income not match or my health or relationships?"
The question is NOT why. The question now must shift to- what do you want and what are you WILLING to do to have it?
About Destiny Jump™: Actualize Your Purpose Driven Mission
Will you be joining me? www.destinyjump.com
Reach out with any questions here
Stephanie Trager, Esq.
Business Strategist, Success Coach
Attorney, Mediator, Consultant
Author of "Soul Success: Success Inside Out" 2016
Are you watching the news?
I'm not. Are you talking about politics? What words are you using? Our culture is spewing a lot of negativity into the cauldron of creation. If it is true that the words and intention behind them are what is actually creating our reality then we are empowered not only with a vote, but with how we speak about EVERYTHING.
How do you speak about money?
How do you speak about people you don't particularly like?
How do you speak about your health or challenges you have with you body?
The simplicity in this statement, "Change your thoughts, change your life," means nothing unless you get it for real. It doesn't mean spend 3 minutes in the morning writing your gratitude list and again before bed. It means committing on a disciplined level to change how you speak about your life and everything and everyone in it- no exceptions.
Since the affirmation community is a feel good space, there is very little instruction on how disciplined one has to become in order to truly apply these ideas or concepts. The book 'The Secret' gave a whole lot of ideas- but no strategy or step by step how to - in order to actually BE this new way of creating your life.
First it takes some truth telling. Here are 3 Reasons the Words You Use Are Creating Your Challenges (Listen to my masterclass Destiny Jump to hear the step by step HOW to change your words):
3 Reasons the Words You Use Are Creating Your Challenges
1. The way you speak about what IS, creates what you experience next.
Every moment of your waking and sleeping breath, your thoughts and how you believe the world works is creating your experience. If you believe life is difficult and you have to work really hard for your money and they'll take it anyway, and you can't trust people- then this will absolutely be your exact experience.
If you believe opportunities show up all the time and people are always there to help and you are wealth and always have more than enough, then your experience will be a whole lot different.
It's not just your belief though- it is the very way you speak about EVERYTHING that feeds your belief loop. This means you do not have to start by changing your beliefs. You begin by choosing a different experience. Then you begin speaking about everything as if that experience you are choosing is already here and you're words WILL align you to the realization of your new choice.
In sum life is about choosing every moment, how to perceive, how to speak, how to transmute into that which you would rather have instead.
2. The way you speak about what you don't like creates more of what you don't like.
To truly empower yourself, you must understand- not just intellectually but on a visceral internal, inner organ type level, that you are the master of your ship. When you speak about things you don't want or don't like- ie. political climate, worry, gossip- the exact words you string together and the intention you put into them - determine what happens next. Period. No maybes about it. (This is a science I break down in my masterclass Destiny Jump - access the replay here)
Here's an example, you are feeling anxiety about your next career move and you aren't sure what your purpose is. You know on a bigger level it has to do with 'x' yet you're not sure HOW you're supposed to actualize your true gifts or what you're supposed to do next that will get you closer to the life and contribution you want to experience.
So you tell your friends, your journal, your coach, you family, your pets... "I want to do my purpose work and I just don't know what it is. I have to leave this job but it's not easy, it sucks here and I don't know what is next. I can't figure out my purpose."
That feeling is going to perpetuate for a long time. Instead your words want to feel possibility, opportunity, open, expansive, curious, fueled by faith and certainty.
"I'm grateful to be feeling complete in my current position that has showered me with experience and abundance. I'm open and exploring wonderful possibilities and am being guided everyday toward what lights me up. This period of exploration feels so on purpose and I'm enjoying the revelations I have about myself daily."
3. The way you speak about what you want determines if you get what you want.
After reading the first two reasons, by now you may be getting the point. So I'm leaving this one to you. How are you speaking about what you want in your life? How are you choosing what you want instead of what you don't?
Do you value the power in how you speak, think and visualize your future?
I'd love to hear your comments below. What's a shift you'll make today that will change your tomorrow?
What if all of our purposes were really to change the way we are dreaming this collective experience into being? What would you dream instead and how would your words actualize that dream?
Access Here- Destiny Jump: Actualize Your Purpose Driven Mission ~ the Masterclass Instant Replay
I believe your destiny is what you dream... it waits. We leap and act no matter what or it waits. And its' there and it may even outlive us. But it is there.
A friend tells me this:
I would love a career where I can be a part of story telling of issues dear to my heart through video and other artistic outlets with a collaborative and creative team that inspire and that our work impacts others
So I reframe with this:
"I tell stories of issues on ____ through video and artistic channels with a collaborative team that inspires and impacts the world."
All she really needs is permission- from herself. To say that. And do that. Because I see and have seen this for her for so long. The way I have seen this for so long and so clearly for this friend, in my mind it has to be an easy journey. I see the steps as well. This is why I do what I do! My gift is to see this for other people and help them get there, to that thing they always wanted to do.
There is an epidemic in the western world.
We're privileged with options, education, training and endless improvement yet having that thing we've always dreamed of, the career or work that truly feels like our life calling, it's this thing over there. We think only other people get to do those cool things or acutalize their dream job, dream business, company or legacy work in the world.
I'm here to say- give yourself F---ing permission!
Think about how many people are miserable because they would rather be doing something else. Why not? What stops you? What excuse? Nothing happens overnight so that's not being asked of you. Work towards that dream today. You'll be closer than you think when you actually do have more time.
I have to redo it everyday. I left practicing law to live my dream and actaulize my gifts in the world. It's not easy. I had identity issues- still do sometimes. I fight the deamons in my head. I'm a spiritual warrior, I work with mental science knowing full well my world is the splitting image of my thoughts. It's a mirror.
Our fear and doubt create obstacles, creates the idea of impossible. It's not true. Why should it be possible for someone and not you? You're educated, your smart, your savy, you've done business, you've already excelled in at least 5 things in your life so why the heck shouldn't you be able to excel at the very idea you have in your head- that happens to be linked to your unique talent, passion and interests?
Seriously, isn't that why we're here? Back in the village you were born and the Spirit keepers read your Soul and destined you for your purpose work in the tribe. You played your part because you had certain gifts to do that thing that needed to be done.
It's the same Universe!
The recipe of our Soul is the same! I urge you to decide this year. Are you going to let another year go by and NOT do what you're here to do? Even if you set out already to do it yet something has taken you off course- come back, recalibrate. Course-correct. You do get a do-over. What's the fear and doubt about? Are they real?
What if it does work?
What if you have no idea how? WHO cares! There are plenty of people (including me) who can help show you exactly how. Heck we can even help you figure out exactly what! People also think it's a shame if they don't know their purpose. Of course you do! Your purpose is what you're experiencing now. Right now.
How do you show up? What matters is your intention and what energy and focus you mix with desire for what's next. Your purpose may at this moment be seeking purpose. Not your purpose. Just purpose. Dive into the meaning. Contemplate yourself, your Soul. Contemplate your contribution.
NOTE: We've also been saddled with some big responsibility and expectation. It's becoming easier to be a millionaire, easier to start a company, easier to do anything you want and create the lifestyle you desire. So with this ease comes great expectation -from ourselves. Give yourself permission to want what you want and go after it. It doesn't have to be building a fortune 100 company! It has to be what matters to you!
My purpose is to help people unleash their potential- and be true to themselves and their destiny- their dreams...starting a business is not for everyone... so what- go leverage Google or propose a position somewhere that needs you and they don't even know it yet. Be entrepreneurial about your career or purpose path even if it's as an employee, in a company or whatever... if you have a burning desire, listen to it. It's speaking to you!!!
Dreams + Desire + Action = Destiny * Dreams + Desire + Inaction = Fate
Do you want to know the ONE thing that separates those who go after their dreams and make it from those who don't?
Incongruent thoughts and behavior. Sure if it doesn't work out you may say the difference are the ones who get back up and start again. But before that ... you have to look at thought and mindset as a real mental science.
Being congruent with what you say you want means you will duke it out with fear so it does not cut your destiny off at the pass. Fear and doubt will take you out unless you learn to dance. The dance involves more of the positive belief and commitment, more willingness and congruent thoughts, words and actions than the negative. More positive trump negative and you really are projecting either your destiny or your fate on the screen of your life. It is a movie and your mind is the projector.
What story will you tell?
Be true to you!
A very sacred part of 'the exchange' has been removed from transactions in the western world. We buy and sell, give and take and leave very little space to honor what I call, Sacred Reciprocity.
We have all given and we have all received a gift in our lives that was full of intention and love.
It's conscious intention, love and integrity that convey the essence of Sacred Reciprocity.
A conversation between friends is best when there is sacred reciprocity- listening and holding space- being fully present when one is speaking and REALLY BEING there. This is sacred reciprocity.
Selling is a perfect playground for sacred reciprocity. When you have something you believe in, a solution, a tool, an offer you fully believe will benefit the other person, how can you not offer it? How can you withhold? When it comes to giving away services for free, how many of you give your time then feel resentment or some twinge of, "I could really have used that income." It cancels the gift.
Moreover, when you share a solution with someone, your time, your service, or your expertise, you are giving them the gift of opportunity -The opportunity to invest in themselves.
This idea is so foreign to us because we've been raised to want to 'get' things for free and 'get' the discount and save money. Of course saving money is wonderful yet we have completely distorted the essence of sacred reciprocity which gives the buyer the wonderful feeling of investing in themselves. And, moreover the opportunity to exercise integrity if they choose to decline. Integrity in a decline means closing the energetic loop opened when both parties consented to a conversation around needs and solutions.
There are 3 Parts to Sacred Reciprocity:
This looks uncanily like a contract! A contract requires and offer, acceptance and consideration ($ or value exchanged).
A Sacred Reciprocity offer is one where both parties have agreed there are needs and one has a solution. The one with the solution offers this to the one who has needs. Sacred reciprocity isn't so much the offer as it is the intention, the energy and the process of exchange. Listening, feeling, hearing, seeing and understanding are important parts to this step.
Sacred Reciprocity very much lives in the realm of gifting and often the consideration is love, friendship, or some other relational exchange.
A tip when offering your solution to someone's need is to make sure you are in Sacred Reciprocity with yourself. Make sure you're not undercharging, make sure you are in alignment with what you are giving and make sure you are grounded in your inner power coming from a place of integrity.
2. Acceptance or Decline
When you're in right relationship with yourself you honor the other person in an exchange. When both people come from a place of integrity, there is an understanding that an energy has been opened through an offer.
So often I engage in conversations with people struggling in their businesses and offer them a solution only to never hear from them again. For others it's a yes and we're on to Part 3, Consideration. Some people are clear it is not the right time for them to engage with my solution and they come forward and let me know. This closes the energetic circle that was opened with the consent of both people and forms a beautiful closure to the conversation.
One place to check in with yourself is to notice if you're someone who intentionally calls in a conversation and leaves it open by avoiding the conversation that says, "I'm not ready now," or "This is a no for me." When we're feeling fulfilled in our lives it's often a reflection of the energy we're putting out to the world- and one place to close the energy loop is in making sure you're owning your part in the energy of sacred reciprocity no matter what the outcome is.
Consideration is value exchanged. I've recently had several clients (almost at the same time) ask a question about pricing and the answer to all of them had every thing to do with sacred reciprocity. Are you in a fair exchange? Are you over delivering? Are you charging what you feel is a fair and lovely exchange? Does it feel like it's in sacred reciprocity? Are you in right relationship with the value exchange?
* * *
Following these three steps when engaging in an exchange will prevent resentment, prevent open ended energy loops that end up zapping energy from both sides of the exchange, and it will cause a windfall of abundance to land upon you! Yes abundance responds very quickly to sacred reciprocity on both sides of the coin (no pun intended).
So how can you tune the vibration of your exchanges up a notch (Both on the giving and receiving/ selling and buying ends)?
What are you doing that unbeknownst to you, is causing an energy leak in your revenue flow? What can you do to solve this challenge by applying the principle of Sacred Reciprocity?
Thank you thank you thank you!!!!
Be True to You!
The Influence of Support:
We all need friends, love, family, colleagues. We all need support. We're not meant to go at this life alone. When left to our own devices we may not always be our own best counsel. When it comes to making a choice or decision or moving out of a stuck place and especially when we need to stop manifesting cyclical situations causing unmitigated stress in our lives, having the RIGHT support is key.
(Photo: Care of Chrisy Love- This is her baby.)
Have you ever felt the pure love of a baby shift you out of a negative state? That's the right support in that moment. It's not likely you'll be triggered by something the baby says.
In coaching hundreds of professionals and in being a highly sensitive person myself, I see a need for the Pause. Pause before you reach out for support because no support is better then the wrong support.
Pause & Ask Yourself These 3 Questions:
1. Why am I called to reach out or talk to this person? Is it just because they're available, they always give me time, they love me, they want what's best for me, they know my story?
2. What kind of support do I really need and can this person give it to me? Not everyone is at a level of self-knowledge that they can answer this for themselves. Knowing whether you need support from someone who knows who you are striving to become, versus who you once were or appear to be now through their eyes, is an advanced skill and an important one to hone or you risk being held back by invisible hooks called 'the wrong support.'
3. What is the outcome I want from a conversation with this person? Do you want emotional support? Do you want them to collude with your story to validate how you feel? Do you want them to highlight a blindspot to help you make the right decision? Do you want them to make the decision for you? Do you want them to remind you what your higher self really wants and is in alignment with who you are striving to become? Do you want them to acknowledge you and hold you as powerful while helping you weight the benefits and costs?
We've all been in that place or that twist or bind and meditated, ruminated, or pondered our question, yet still felt the need to bounce it off of someone else. It helps to clarify our thoughts and reflect what we're feeling and helps us see beyond stress, confusion, doubt, worry, fear, or even absolute enthusiasm.
So what do we do? You call a parent- or you call your old friend who is always there for you yet you realize -only by the hallow feeling in your chest- that you made a mistake. When you're on the superhighway of personal evolution it's better to reach out for the RIGHT support than to reach out for any support. Different situations call for different support.
Sometimes you may just need some good lovin. That's not that same thing as a big life decision where you're looking for feedback and solid reflection.
Something quite fierce was recently weighing on me. I chose to be silent and listen from within. For a while this was fine and I was receiving the internal cues I needed to know I was on the right track.
Then a bit of anxiety came over and I needed to diffuse. I could have been calm and quiet and sought from within, I could have thought specifically who would be the RIGHT person to consult with in this very specific situation, or I could have paused long enough to take myself through the very decision making process I teach my clients. (super cool)
I didn't do any of the above. I fell back into an old habit and reacted.
I was stressed, driving, exhausted and it was a long day. I needed love, connection and support now. Do you know this feeling? I called someone who knows the old me- they have a vested interest in my success and happiness, they have their own way of seeing the world and although they've changed a lot over the years, they still may not have the same view of my agenda.
I called anyway.
Result? More anxiety, self doubt and all kinds of unreasonable what ifs.... I was better off not making that call. This person came from 100% good intention yet they were not the RIGHT support.
Remediation? Afterward... I reached out to a colleague who knows my Soul. Knows what takes me out, knows who I really am at the very core of my being and knows my purpose here in this life. She is the RIGHT support. I knew this friend was at a conference and my first thought was 'I won't bother her.'
Instead I decided to ask for what I needed and reached out to my colleague. The point is when we're up against a big decision or next move, sometimes our loved ones or other mentors who know us in a certain way are not the ones to give advice or reflection.
Know Your People
Know your 'Board of Directors' -your friends and trusted advisers who know your Soul, know your deepest desires, and potentially know your logistical situation are your Board. Assign them in advance so you know who to reach out to for what.
Receiving counsel and reflection from someone who can hold you as powerful, hold the vision of you who you truly desire to be, not who you were, and someone who understands your agenda and your Soul's agenda is mandatory if you want to move forward. Anything else keeps you stuck or pulls you back. Resonate?
If you don't have a community or at least one confidant who has your forward movement, your deep inner purpose or your highest potential at heart, hire a coach, an adviser, a consultant, a lawyer, a healer, an astrologist... in other words put together your spiritual and logistical support team and make sure they are as evolved or more evolved than you.
This may sound woo-woo- it's not. It's called 'being heard, being seen, being acknowledged for the true gifts you are here to actualize in this lifetime.' If you're in a place of big decisions and they are going to impact how you align with your purpose and future intent- you need some targeted and intentional counsel.
What does this mean for you? Do you resonate? When was the last time you reached out to the wrong person who just couldn't validate your feelings and give you the type of honest and powerful reflection you needed?
Sometimes we realize in -retrospect- we're feeling out of alignment with our circle of friends, the people who used to be on the same page, or the community we're surrounded by. Maybe you're personal evolution is happening more quickly than you realized. Who do you speak to now?
Book a session on my calendar right here $149. Yes, let's get to know each other and let's talk about who your counsel needs to be. We're not meant to do this all alone. What's the next step for you on your path to personal and professional evolution?
What's got you feeling stuck and who do you have to mastermind with about it?
I'm very serious about the importance of having the RIGHT support- sometimes this is the ONE thing that keeps us stuck and no one ever told you that the key is having the RIGHT support- someone who gets you, knows you, 'sees' your true self and can feel your soul and know how to help you move to your next step to unleash your highest potential. Sometimes we're gifted with friends like this- other times we're not.
Here's a splendid rare opportunity to privately coach with me in a 45 minute session for $149!
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I would love to hear your comments below. Does this post resonate? Do you ever fall into a default and reach out for the wrong support? What's the impact?
Stay True to You!
Transition can be stressful. Anything can be stressful. It doesn't have to be. The trick is learning how to hold the space. (seasons are transitions too)
(special invitation below)
Holding space is literal, proverbial, and energetic.
Starting new work, creating your own business, moving, relationship change, or any shift or transition can be intense. Stress is our reaction. It's not the thing itself.
Here are some tips to help you in transition so you:
1. Holding Space
Holding space is intentional. It requires awareness and taking a stand for who you are, what you do and what you need. Feeling grounded in who you are means your self-image- how you see yourself- matches your actions, words and expressions. When you're clear and grounded here, you won't be swayed by how 'others' see you.
2. Get Clear On These Two Questions:
"Who am I?" & "What do you do?"
If you're living an intentional life, on purpose - what you do is about who you are. When you're solid in who you are- identity- purpose- your unique gifts and talents- the core feeling of Soul in your work- then you'll show up more powerfully in everything you do- especially when you match that clarity with outward expression.
You''ll exude influence.
"What do You Do?"
I encourage you to dig deeper than just the title of your profession. (Ie. I"m a lawyer. Or I"m an employment lawyer.) We all know there are a hundred different areas in employment law- what's yours? What do you actually do for people? What special uniqueness do you bring to your work? Infuse purpose-even if your work is not your 'ideal purpose work.'
If you're in career transition - this is especially important because you're redefining your story, who you are becoming. Going in with clarity of expression will help you create the outcomes you want.
One thing you can be certain of is that you are perched in a wonderful space of rediscovery. "Hold this space intentionally."
3. Who are you becoming?
Take time for introspection to uncover what you value, who you wish to become and what story you would like to begin claiming as yours. It's your time to step into who you are becoming...
How do you do this?
The clarity of your message will increase your influence.
Your words- and how you hold yourself out in the world will be aligned internally. The benefits are not only that the right opportunities will flock to you, but a deep sense of peace, confidence, and groundedness will increase your inner power.
When you no longer have to worry, think or fret over these existential questions, or at least you come into right relationship with the process, you will have SOOooooo much energy available for increasing your powers of intuition, awareness and influence.
The truth is 1000% clarity isn't always the result of intention or strategy. It's knowing how to HOLD the clarity that does come while the rest is sorting itself out in divine timing -being in right relationship with the process -holding the space.
I can help you!
In my Leadership Branding with Archetypes Private Mini Virtual Retreat
Because my clients simply LOVE this part of their Private Elite Coaching Program, I decided to offer it for the very first time as a separate mini virtual retreat experience... read more here...
It's an awesome opportunity and will help you with clarity and STRATEGY FORWARD around:
Special OFFER for YOU!
This is all about ACKNOWLEDGING YOUR BRILLIANCE inside and out!
Leadership Branding with Archetypes Experience
This Leadership Branding with Archetypes Experience will help you finally:
Learn more here -
If you'd like to see if this is a fit for you, schedule a call on my calendar here or hit reply to this email. More clarity, and concise messaging means MORE INFLUENCE!
How often do you divert praise?
In 1998 I fell in love with a Brazilian martial art called Capoeira. I was captivated, committed and consistent. For almost 18 years I stayed the course, trained more than most. Sometimes 3x a day.
People thought I was quite good. I was oblivious. I diverted praise. I never felt good enough. I always wanted to be better. I never took in a compliment or felt grateful for praise. I didn't know how to hold that space of acknowledgment with in myself. If I landed a back handspring, I wanted a flip. Compliments would roll off my back and into the ethers.
When I changed, my world changed.
Do you divert praise? How do you hold self-acknowledgement?
As a society we've been taught not to be arrogant, don't be egotistical, don't brag... we all have our own story around 'not' being able to 'take a compliment,' or how we change the subject, avert or dilute the praise. Can you relate?
We discount ourselves by not fully receiving a gift- not out of a modest intention to divert praise, but out of a real block within ourselves to acknowledge and hold sacred ALL of our accomplishments- both large and small. Do you do this?
Seeking acknowledgment outside of ourselves-from others is one default reaction when we're unable to hold this space for ourselves. As humans it's natural to want approval. Sometimes we don't see the thumbs up when they're there.
Seeking approval outside of ourselves becomes dominant when we haven't cultivated our ability to acknowledge ourselves for achievements and success. We were born with the gift of knowing we're great. It's innate. Somewhere along the way some other message changed the program of the mixed tape running our subconscious mind and our capacity to notice and appreciate our own brilliance may have gone out the window- some or many parts.
I had this blind spot for a long time. It wasn't until I was able to fully realize how much I had been discounting my accomplishments for the simple fact of not seeing them, that I was able to implement actions to train a different response. Guess what happened. Different outcomes. When we acknowledge our achievements we attract more of what we want.
Why might this be? Because everyone of us wants to be acknowledged. It's a part of human nature. It's ok. It's good. We have to give it to ourselves first.
How do you acknowledge and celebrate yourself if you don't see or notice your own accomplishments? I've given some steps below that may be helpful. I'd love to hear your comments if these work for you.
Here are 3 Steps to See Your Accomplishments When You Just Can't See Them:
Step One: Commit to acknowledging yourself for small successes and track at least 3 daily. Intentionally receive compliments and be systematic about tracking acknowledgments that come to you daily. You'll begin to stretch your ability to hold acknowledgment which will help reprogram your default response. Soon you will see your wins more easily. Do this daily for a week and see what happens!
Step Two: When you notice yourself wanting to discount yourself- "It wasn't anything really." "I still haven't ____" or any other form of self deprication- quickly course correct. Set your intention and stick to it. Recommit daily to this commitment and day by day you'll rebuild your automatic subconscious response strategy and soon you'll stop discounting yourself completely.
Step Three: Notice how your outcomes change. When you compliment yourself and receive and hold compliments from others, your outer world will change. Negative self talk will no longer be a blind-spot. You'll hear it and see it like a mouse running around your house. You'll trap it and release it and seal your house so it doesn't return. Rinse and repeat. Watch your world change in front of your eyes! This is the law of cause and effect which is the basis of the simple yet powerful law of manifestation. Its always influencing your outcomes- either positively, negatively or neutrally.
The powerful reflection of my word shifted when I began to fully embrace my impact on others and my brilliant gifts. I see this with my clients as well- and then the email rolls in- "I get it, I totally how I'm showing up differently and it's reflecting in my world from the inside out!!!" (melts my heart every time!)
When I speak of how we INFLUENCE our OUTCOMES- and how the reality of our existence is a mere reflection of our inner world- I am not spouting fluff- it IS the LAW of MANIFESTATION - the UNIVERSAL LAW of CAUSE & EFFECT. It's simple and complex, real and truth.
When you understand how you are influencing your world- and truly shift your beliefs about yourself and your accomplishments -the more rapidly your world changes from the inside out. How does this land for you? Where are you discounting your brilliance? What are you willing to do about it?
Comment below if this resonated for you! Share an acknowledgment and allow us to hold space for you!
Be True to You,
In response to this Harvard Business Review Article- poignant and palatable... The Very Real Dangers of Executive Coaching, ....
"Executive/ Leadership- coaching in general demands a holistic approach -full body, mind, soul, business, relationships, money, power, law, universal law, influence... all these portals on the table- you've got to be able to hold the space."
I believe a special and holistic method is needed for coaching influential executives at the top tier and I'm taking a stand for it once and for all. I've been coaching since 2008 while in legal practice (and full time since 2011). I've not only gone through umpteen coach trainings and certifications, I've gone through the dark night of the soul myself...um, more than once....
My real coaching mojo comes from my practice as an energy medicine practitioner, intuitive and hardcore empath- which helps me understand the nuances (issue spotting is my lawyer skill which comes in very handy) ... of the body, the energy body, the soul and the psyche. As for communication coaching- my mediation (not meditation -but that too) background elevates the conversation.
I'm not one for blatant self promotion in this manner, though perhaps this article will help someone who holds themselves back because they have a secret fear people will laugh them out of the gate...and in the meantime serve as a cathartic truth telling for myself.
I've worn so many hats I forget who I'm 'being' at times. I forget to be me, wholly integrated with all parts- human rights earth keeper, corporate lawyer, divorce mediator, health coach, elite athlete and peak performance coach, business coach, shaman healer- I mean yeesh, these are a lot of people to be!
It's exhausting when I feel fragmented or unwilling to BE FULLY ME out of fear the corporate and legal environment isn't yet ready to embrace the perspective and angle I'm bringing to the table. It's needed now. There is a risk. There's always a risk when we are built for greatness. So where are you holding back to forgo the risk? What are you afraid of?
I coach my clients on this very thing. I am human. I am an expert witness on the powers of unleashing our maximum potential as the fully integrated embodiment of presence. Executive/ Leadership- coaching in general demands a holistic approach -full body, mind, soul, business, relationships, money, power, law, universal law, influence... all these portals on the table- you've got to be able to hold the space.
When coaching someone to forge pass their comfort zone or initiate behavioral and relational changes in their business, their organizations or in their personal lives, there is often a fair amount of sediment stirred in the psyche. When trauma or some other past event has been stored for a while, a coach must be aware if a trip wire is switched. Coaching is a big responsibility. A coach must have impeccable integrity to know when they are not qualified to serve in the highest interest of their client and make proper recommendations.
Before hiring a coach/mentor- I recommend you interview your coach on their background- and be sure they're equipped to hold space for you in the intimate way that will guide your progress- NOT send you deeper into despair... Our psyches are the delivery mechanism for our Souls. And guess what- all these parts- the integrated parts- want to show up in business. That's real influence. We don't want to mess with people's Souls- we want to guide them into full expression, actualization and manifestation while benefiting all players in the hand.
Blessings - you know where to find me for you personally, for your organization or to 'fix' a situation left by someone who didn't quite hold the space....
Leadership Coach, Business Strategist, Power Activator
"There is a whole world -or worlds- we don't see- the unseen- the unknown unkown-
above, below, and in between."
"When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change." Dr. Wayne Dyer
When you visit with the sheer radiance and mythical perfection, of nature, you align with a sense that life is so much bigger and more profound than your job, your business, your career, your family, yourself. There is a whole world -or worlds- we don't see- the unseen- the unknown unkown- above, below, and in between.
What does this expanded sense of possibility and untapped package of resources mean for you? Where are you struggling in this very moment that you can stop, close your eyes, breath and know... you are invited to tap into other worlds, layers, possibilities, dimensions and resources- ones you have not yet contemplated or believed to be true?
What kind of support is really here for you? What do you NEED to release so you may have full access to the infinite supply?
Comment below- do you have an example of when you've changed your perception and as a result a huge problem became an opportunity?
If you want more influence in your world - more clients, more income, more acknowledgment, more of those little perks others seem to get with no problem, commit to your personal development beginning with a crazy honest self inquiry.
Here's one place to start: Know what you're a stand for no matter what.
Do you know what you're a stand for no matter what? When a new client enters my world I want to know what they are a stand for no matter what. This way I hold them to their compass when life happens -which it always does. This is what helps me hold space and help them navigate the deep end.
To create change in your life, you need to know what you unequivocally stand for. Otherwise, you'll be tossed around like a leaky boat without a rudder and no compass to course correct.
When you know what you're a stand for, you have a compass to measure when you're off course.
How do you measure your growth in life? Are you achieving what you set out to do? When you know what you stand for no matter what, you can check in with that thing and ask:
"Where am I not being true to myself? Where am I out of integrity with what I'm a stand for?"
If you've ever been lost in the woods, the desert, or anywhere for that matter- and had the privilege of a little device called a compass- (better yet a map and a compass) - then you know how valuable it is to help you course correct.
A moral compass has the same value.
I'm a stand for integrity and truth no matter what. Ask people what you can count on about 'Stephanie' and they'll tell you, "She'll tell you the truth no matter what."
When I first heard someone say that- I was a bit taken aback. Hmmm people see that. Well isn't it interesting because I AM a stand for the truth no matter what.
Here are 2 reasons why knowing what you're a stand for can help you change your results:
Reason # One
Reason # TWO
*Heads up- a crazy honest self inquiry is not for the faint at heart. It's a real 'come to clarity' opportunity to see it, own it, and make a plan to change it. (whatever 'it' is for you that is taking you off course)' We are gifted with new moments and new mornings to re-commit, start anew, and forge ahead on purpose living our truth and that thing we are a stand for no matter what.
What are you a stand for no matter what? How would you become more influential if you held yourself to this standard ALL the time?
* Join me over here on Facebook where I post daily 'Power Shots' - downloads for the collective committed to their personal evolution and their professional revolution!
Be True to You!
PS: Increasing our influence is about improving performance, ourselves, and our consciousness. The results show up as an INCREASE in every area of our lives.
Knowing where you are is the best place to begin your INCREASE- What's Your Score When it Comes to Influence? Your Influence Factor Self Assessment Quiz will help you discover your strengths and blindspots .... Take the Quiz below...
Do people do what you want them to do as if you had a magic potion beaming forth from your eye? Are you someone who influences others?
INFLUENCE defined: *"The power to cause changes without directly forcing them to happen" (*Merriam Webster Online Dictionary)
Influence is your key. It connects you to your inner power and your ability to shape your desired outcomes. We're always influencing our outcomes through our intricate belief system.
The question isn't: "Can you influence others and outcomes" - it's "How are you influencing them?"
Positive Influence gets you more...more clients, more income, the raise, the promotion, more opportunities, more of your desired outcomes, more of the goodies...
Influence is a result of 'who' you are. Influence is what other people let you do.
Persuasion on the contrary, is what you 'do' to others to get them to do what you want. Growing your Influence Factor™ means growing yourself. When you decide to become the kind of person that others respond to, they will give you the opportunity to influence them.
Positive influence grows with integrity. Influence by integrity increases your magnetism. People want to be around you. People want to refer you clients, they want to say yes and invest in you, they want to include you in their circle, they want to help you get what you want.
To increase your positive influence, remove the inner conflict.
A self-assessment is helpful to uncover where you may have blocks or hidden negative beliefs about influencing others. (Money and influence assessment) Do you detest sales? Are you resentful of people who seamlessly compel you to comply with their requests?
If you intentionally desire to increase your influence you can't secretly detest the thing you desire and expect it to flow authentically. NOW is your opportunity to uncover and clear inner conflicts.
Clearing the inner conflict creates space to cultivate the art of influence.
Can you cultivate this intangible mirage called influence? While some people are innately endowed with it's captivating spell others can absolutely learn the technique, skill and art of influence.
Children are amazing influencers. Unfortunately this brilliant characteristic is hammered out of so many at a young age. As confidence declines, influence declines.
To cultivate a robust bank of influence, build self-confidence and clear any inner hidden conflict resembling a dislike for people who compel you to act, influence you, sell to you or the like. You're about to step into a whole new version of you- and you'll want to really like who you're becoming!
Increasing your positive influence means growing yourself. Growing yourself begins with a self assessment. I've got a tool coming soon that will help you figure this out! Stay tuned!
In the meantime, how's your influence when it comes to money? Take a Money Archetype Self-Assessment here (space is limited)...
Thoughts? Comments? What's your tip on influencing outcomes? Please share or comment below!!!
Building Your Emotional Immune System...
Emotion is a system. It's complex and and vast, beautiful and ugly, light and dark, freedom or bondage. As humans we get to experience this amazing spectrum of feeling, sensing, loving, being, and we have the opportunity to choose how we respond emotionally.
Easier said than done right?
Emotions are a muscle. More often than not, our feelings are a choice triggered by subconscious
conditioning, sometimes so deeply buried from view, it seems impossible to control the 'joy' stick.
Why is this?
How do we take charge of the 'joy' stick? How do we build our Emotional Immune System so that it's robust, powerful and working for us instead of against us?
First is to acknowledge the beauty and gift in the sheer array of emotional and sensory responses we as humans do get to experience.
That in itself is a miracle. Next is to realize emotions are information. They give us clues that something is right or not right. If it's not right it doesn't mean it's wrong. Got that? You're not wrong! There is nothing wrong with you.
Emotions are working 'for' us not against us. Just like life (circumstances) are happening 'for' you not 'to' you. This one little nugget-if fully digested- will change your life.
It may not happen over night. It's a process of integration.
Second is to understand that emotions are information. We have a super intelligent subconscious mind with a brilliant mechanism for implementing the strategy placed in it. The executed strategy produces circumstances.
Circumstances cause emotions. Emotions also cause circumstances. Being fully aware of what causes certain emotions, and why this 'what' causes them, will allow you to step into observer and observe as information.
The information revealed helps you understand your subconscious mind's strategy which was likely developed when you were very young. This strategy was a coping mechanism and may be the furthest thing from logical today. It probably doesn't serve you anymore and the good news is
you can change it.
A cognitive discussion about how you're 'feeling' may not always avail you of the blueprint in your subconscious mind.
As we commit to our journey of personal growth and stretch outside our comfort zones, we come up against our edges- those uncomfortable places challenging us to forge ahead or stop in our tracks.
If we stop in our tracks, emotional information may be revealed. With this information we can make intentional choices that allow us to bust out of old paradigms and belief systems that no longer serve us. These are the 'take a big swig of f#%k it and jump' moments. If we stop in our tracks and numb ourselves- we miss the opportunity to grow.
Some people have a strong emotional immune system and take those leaps over and over. Sometimes they fall, sometimes they thrive. It's the act of jumping and realizing (evidence) they didn't die- that reprograms the subconscious strategy.
It's never too late to build your emotional immune system. It starts by making a decison. Life will change when you make this decision. It's part of the intentional journey. If we do this sort of thing alone, we don't always find the causal seed that set the blueprint (strategy) in motion way back when.
Why would we create a strategy that doesn't serve our highest expression and most powerful potential?
Remember, this strategy was perfect at the time it was planted, seeded, or caused. It's not always obvious and not always uncovered through a cognitive conversation. I recommend working with an objective (skilled) person who can hit those blind spots because your subconscious mind is programmed to keep you blind from them ON PURPOSE!!!
Is this making sense?
Your subconscious mind has a job- protect you, keep you safe and feeling loved. When the strategy was planted way back when, it may have done the job in that moment. The thing is... the same default may still be playing and causing quite the opposite.
This strategy served you at one point. It may no longer serve you now. You get to decide and break into the operating system to change the strategy. It begins with intention then a decision to start and soon you will build a robust emotional immune system while honing your powers of self awareness.
The law of causation is: but for this then that. Understanding how the law of cause and effect impacts you, your thoughts, your emotions and your life, empowers you to create change.
In other words, the circumstances (and your emotional responses) in your life right now would not be the case but for the subconscious strategy / blueprint placed in your mind long ago.
Now, I'm not talking to everyone here. Many people have super strong emotional immune systems and have transcended the old program through their lives. Many others are still wearing the old imprints and unaware. Some have only a few remnants.
Everyone can use an upgrade.
We're not even scratching the surface of our potential. By understanding the law of causation and how it effects the circumstances in your life- and your emotional responses, you're actually unleashing a new level of potential.
This concept may take a bit of getting used to before you really integrate and embody the full understanding of how it's playing out in your life. Go EASY here! This is deep. Honor your emotional immune system as you enter these halls.
More power and influence reside on the other side. I'm here for you. Word of advice, don't walk this path alone.
Synopsis: We are living under the law of causation, meaning we are truly responsible for everything in our lives. We get to change our outcomes when we take responsibility-fully.
I'd love to hear from you! Do you have any advice to add on strengthening the emotional immune system? Comment below!
Or if you'd like to have a private breakthrough conversation with me (no cost) then send me private note here.
"Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him to himself." James Allen
Purify your mind. Often.
Articulate the unspeakable.
You always know.
What you want to know as Truth.
Are you fully expressing the immensity of the gifts and talents with which you've been endowed?
To walk around with knowledge and truth -an inner knowing of who you really are and what you really want to say- and have to pretend it is not so-to squelch the breadth of your power and enormity of your presence- and fit into a mold, a paradigm, an idea of what you think (and everyone around you thinks) is supposed to be only to KNOW you are so much more. Inner conflict ensues and fuels the law of cause and effect and self fulfilling prophecies.
The great news ~ YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU THINK and YOU CAN SHIFT THIS PATTERN Today and OWN Your POWER.
So here is the message to say to yourself - morning, noon and night. Here is the reminder that you are unfathomably more powerful than you believe.
"Release, be you, say it, be brave, be free, be wise and be you. If we had a world full of yous allowed to be you- who you and they really are, we would have a powerful world of unleashed potential. We'd have truth with a new meaning. We'd emanate a vibration that would upgrade the heavens. We'd have a world of confident purposeful evolved beings holding space for the next level and evolution of phenomenal. What layer can you release today that doesn't belong to the real you?"
Now here's the key, anything in its purest form has a dark form. Whilst we live among dark energies, we empower our light to walk with protection. We empower our hearts to love more. It is only in this self love that we can know the truth of who we are. It is in this truth that you will find your upgrade.
What is an upgrade? It's a new level of you. The reflection of personal evolution. An upgrade unlocks your potential- physically, intellectually, spiritually, and psychically. An upgrade connects you to the Universal Intelligence. You suddenly understand. You suddenly solve problems and make quick decisions. You shed a layer of fear. The fear that shows up in old patterns of how you do you. An upgrade introduces you to a new you. If you are ready to receive.
Caveat: There is always the possibility of a downgrade.
Evolution is not always easy. It is always beautiful. Evolution is a focus on transcending the old and stepping into the new. These words are empty for those who place a fork in their road and exit the superhighway of transformation. Sure it may seem easier. Though it's impossible to reach the same destination.
These words articulate the unspoken for those who've surged a lifetime of complicity with the dark night of the soul. It is in this journey to the light one realizes that the way out is an epic evolution.
When we submit and let the rumble go, we are offered a new power...a new level of power to step into the next level- yes level it is-of ourselves. The time of integrating the new power, awareness, intuition, ability to 'see', or physical manifestations of peak levels of performance, is the most critical time of growth. Sometimes it's so unfamiliar to be this powerful we lose the way, we drop the ticket, and slip back into the slumber we were in before. Now we carry a few badges of victim honor.
When we own it, claim it, understand it and wield it- this new power, we will have our purpose, mission, message, gift and talent fully revealed. We will have the necessary power and resources to facilitate the actualization of this mission. It doesn't have to be grand in the scheme of things. The mission may be wash the dishes. It's how we do it.
When we're here at this level we know anything and everything that happens, happens for us, for a reason, for the learning. It's our opportunity to decode the signs and messages in our lives. Upgrade yours. Take responsibility, have more integrity, be congruent and impeccable with your word, see the unseen, ask the unasked, listen to your voice. Inside your soul is speaking to you.
THERE IS NO LIMIT TO YOUR POTENTIAL!
8 Secret Tips to Apply When You Must Let Go...
We are always being told: 'let go' of that which no longer serves you, if you love it let it go, let go of this and that. I tell people this too! But how? How do we let go and move on?
How do we let go when our beliefs are so intricately designed to keep us holding on? Or how do we let go of connection and love when we're told to stay connected and keep an open heart? How do we let go of relationships when we care and have compassion? How do we let go of patterns and defenses that have kept us safe for so long?
When it comes time to let go- of a job, a career, a decision, a business, a partner, a lover, a child, a memory, a mindset, a belief, an identity, a regret, a resentment, what is the trick? A band-aid will not do the job. We need instructions to mend our hearts, give us wings, restore faith, increase gravity beneath our wings, and to give us the will to move on.
Growing and moving through transition is confusing and scary. When done voluntarily it can be down right terrifying and heartachingly painful. Sometimes we make decisions knowingly that will lead us to this place. Sometimes they're made for us.
Begin by setting the intention that the outcome is for the highest good of all (this is HARD when emotions are involved yet ever so powerful!)
I let go of things daily. Weekly. I am constantly asking what no longer serves me or what old beliefs are still lingering around my habitat that no longer match who I am becoming. I have my process for letting go. Yet when a person leaves or a situation suddenly changes- or likewise when a person enters and old patterns no longer fit this new situation- there is often a moment where a decision has to be made to let go or suffer. Letting go may feel like suffering at times yet it is really a pathway through to a new you. Growing pains. The other type of suffering is a dead end place of disempowerment that serves no one.
I have recently been through a situation where I had to let go. Everyday a new round of letting go has to happen, sometimes the letting go has to continue all day. Letting go isn't always a one shot decision and poof. Letting go is a process. You come up with your own instructions. When done with grace and intention you move through your situation with a powerful healing and elegant up-leveling at the core of who you are.
Here are my 8 Most Powerful Secrets to Letting Go:
1. You don't have to know how to let go and resolve your situation to let go. There may be no resolution but for each moment to let go and continue to release what needs to be released. Letting go begins with intention.
2. Give yourself a good cry. There is no reason not to feel what needs to be felt. If it brings up emotion- crying is the most beautiful way to release and let go while honoring the way you feel. You deserve to feel how you feel. Allow your feelings to flow through and out - Caveat: You don't want to direct these feelings at another person or thing. Blaming another while you're releasing emotion isn't really letting go- it's redirecting. If there is hurt, hold the person or thing in your thoughts and intentionally let go and release all your emotion with the intention that the highest outcome for the good of all is restored.
3. Be in integrity with your values. Sometimes when we're in a sticky situation involving others, we throw our value bag out the window. We say things we don't mean and we step onto the Triangle of Disempowerment (Victim, Perpetrator or Rescuer) without being mindful. When we're on this triangle, we're not able to fully honor the truth of our situation and let go from a place of equanimity. While equanimity may be the goal- it's not always where we are when we're in the pain or difficulty of a situation. Being mindful of where our consciousness is at all times in this process is important. Sometimes we need to feel pity for ourselves or blame someone else for a minute- fine- for a minute bring it up and out and let it go. Then come back to yourself and back to integrity.
4. Honoring what just happened. Sometime we forget ceremony and ritual. These are powerful ways to focus with intention on healing a situation, honoring the parts and letting them go. Honoring the people involved- even if they hurt you- is a way to bring about your best possible outcome. Even in the process of letting go and feeling, we're manifesting. We're constantly manifesting! When your intention is for the best possible outcome for all involved, you can place yourself in the shoes of the other and honor their position. You may not think they're right or agree with them. You may not have gotten what you wanted, yet you can still honor that there is something better coming to you even through this difficult time no matter what. Acknowledging this truth means you're able to honor what just happened and still expect the best possible outcome (even if the facts don't seem to present that truth right now).
5. Speaking your truth. Saying what needs to be said and hearing what needs to be heard also means feeling what needs to be felt. Sometimes - being vulnerable and speaking your truth from a place of compassion is the most powerful healing force on the planet. Put aside the fear of being judged. Put aside the fear of being too nice, or too this or that...and speak your truth from that place of integrity. Speaking your truth takes courage.
6. Let go of being right. Being happy, healed and resolved is more important than being right. Know what's right in your heart and find validation where you'll find it- in people you can trust. If a situation is not fair and you're going to waste energy attempting to be right, evaluate where you put your energy. Let go of being right, by knowing you're perfect and it's all good. Once you've done 1-5 above, it's going to be really easy to let go of being right.
7. Letting go means you're going to go through different stages of emotion. Expect it! This is probably the coolest secret of letting go. If you really lean into the process and allow it to unfold, one day you may feel love the next day you feel anger. You may have dreams that elude to subconscious behaviors that are keeping you stuck and holding on, then you'll experience sadness... it's a mixed bag and depends on your psyche. Your process of letting go is unique to you. It's artistry and grace when you allow and expect variation. Be compassionate with yourself. Allow the feelings, notice the changes, and know this will pass IF you keep allowing and keep letting go.
8. Be mindful of myths and stories. When we're feeling pain or hurt, anger, sadness, an empty space where there was someone or something before, a lack or taking away of something valuable or important, we and our brilliant minds tend to create all kinds of stories in our heads. Sometimes they're true and sometimes they're not. They're usually as true as you allow them to be. You create your reality with every thought. When you have brought sufficient honoring to a situation it's rather hard to create a horror story. Often our stories put us back on that Triangle of Disempowerment (Victim, Perpetrator or Rescuer). Just be aware of the story you're telling yourself and others about what just happened, or what happened in the past. Create a new story. Create the story of the most empowered you and take responsibility for what happens next!
There you have it! It's not a recipe, it's a workbook. You're process is a work in progress. Each thing, person, event, belief, mindset, issue, pain, or thing you let go of is an OPPORTUNITY to grow in profound ways.
Each time you go through the process from beginning all the way through, you develop new faculties, insights, and awarenesses and you elevate your consciousness. It's NOT always easy. It's rarely easy. That's why so few let go with grace and most people hold on to stuff that piles up as sediment in their psyche. If you allow the full process, you move through the next one with wisdom and lightness. Life becomes more beautiful and you become more powerful.
*Bonus tip: Be gentle with yourself! Take time out. It's part of the process of redefining yourself and repositioning yourself as the leader in your life!
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