Back doors open leak energy.
When you set a goal and condition it upon how much money you have, how much time you have, or how much desire you have, when the rubber meets the road, you essentially have one foot on the gas and one on the break.
What does that do?
It leaks energy all over the place, indecision runs rampant and you become blind to potential opportunities because you're too busy looking for your conditions being met. Are you resonating with this? Is this you or someone you know?
When we're in this state of gas/break - back doors open -leaking energy, we're unknowingly pulling everyone we come into contact with into our mess- or being pulled into theirs.
If you resonate with this, think of how this shows up for you. Are you consistently saying, "Yes I want to move forward and change ___" and then stop, start, subconscious programming spinning you in all directions? Are you reaching out for help and attracting others into your vortex of mushy boundary spin?
Or maybe you're on full speed ahead and you notice others around you in this space of
leaky energy which equates to leaky boundaries. Are you allowing them to pull you into their mess?
You may not be resonating at all -yet this very well may be you.
What happens when we're in this state- of either attracting others into our mess or being attracted into theirs- is always an opportunity for growth. Often we're not even conscious it's happening.
The symptoms show up as:
1. Feeling like we're not being valued
2. We give away our time, money and power and blame others for their craziness
3. We disempower others by coming to the rescue
4. We feel victimized by all this craziness 'others' are bringing to our world
5. We lash out and blame
6. We stay stuck in a spin of indecision usually laden with worry
I pick up on energy very quickly. One thing I experience when I'm speaking to a potential client or client experiencing this mushy boundary spin is that I start to get spun up in it. I love when this happens.
A big red flag goes up for me because I notice right away I'm off my flow. This helps me tune in and be of best support (or decide this client is not for me) because I see it and experience the visceral effect pretty quickly. I then get to apply my back door closing strategy with them which generates quick results so they have an immediate quantum shift in their lives.
Here's what you can do to experience a quantum shift right away
(*And if this doesn't work for you then reach out to me fast because it's definitely costing you money, time and energy to not have this little situation fixed!)
5 Steps to Tightening Your Boundaries for an Immediate Quantum Shift in Any Area of Your Life:
1. Crazy Honest Self Inquiry: Get really honest with yourself and ask yourself why this situation is showing up for you over and over. Notice the patterns and what triggers them.
2. Ask yourself how you are causing this situation. A little known strategy to own your life and take responsibility for all of cause and effect actually empowers you to create a quantum shift right away. This step is not about blaming yourself. It's about being objective, stepping back and saying, "How am I responsible for this?"
3. List all the places your back doors are open (escape hatch to actually doing what you said you want to do) and where you're not fully committed. Ask yourself 'why?'. Don't worry if you don't understand your answers. Often they don't make sense to the conscious mind but they are certainly part of an intricate and brilliant subconscious strategy to protect you (since that's what the subconscious mind is doing for most people who haven't done this level of deep dive yet).
4. List how each of your answers to #3 is impacting your life- finances, relationships, success personal happiness, health...
5. Decide what you need to and want to do about it and by when you will do it.
It's often easier said than done. I encourage you to pause and implement this exercise and see what you come up with. Who, What, When, Where, Why, How - are mushy boundary spins showing up in my life -either caused or attracted by me?
Was this helpful for you? Comment and share a nugget you're taking away!
Be true to you!
Stephanie Trager, Esq.
Business Strategist, Success Coach
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